Annihilated
by eorocks
Summary: This is my take on what might have happened in Annihilated if Elliot hadn't stayed with Kathy.


_Hey everyone! This is just a quick one shot. I needed a small break from Choices. Enjoy!_

EOEOEO

Elliot stood in Malcolm Royce's hospital room and thought about the little boy that had hopped off the school bus that afternoon. So full of life and energy. And now he was lying in the morgue. The shock of how quickly life could change still caught him by surprise sometimes. He saw a lot of human depravity every day. But it was the kids…always the kids…that hit him the hardest. It shook him to the core. It made him question his faith in humanity. It made him question his faith in God.

He stood next to Olivia, his mind on those kids, when she suggested they go back and brief Cragen. He asked if she handle it. He had to get out of there. He had an overwhelming need to see his own kids. She knew him well enough to know what was going through his mind, and she immediately agreed to handle it.

He left the hospital and looked at his watch. It was late, and he knew the kids would be asleep. He just hoped Kathy would let him stop over. They had developed a good rapport despite the separation, and she never denied him anything in regards to the kids. They had even been talking about reconciliation and a potential move back home, but he wasn't quite ready yet. He made the call, and could tell that he had woken her, but she seemed to understand when he said he needed to see them. He told her he would be there as soon as possible.

He let himself into the house when he arrived. He tried to be quiet as he climbed the stairs, and he checked on the girls first. Neither Liz nor Kathleen stirred, and he sighed when he saw them sleeping peacefully in their beds. He watched them for a moment before closing the door. He moved to Dickie's room, and had to pull the comforter down to see his son zonked out amidst the mess of his room. He backed out, feeling better now that he had seen them.

As he walked back down the hall, he saw that Kathy's bedroom door was open. He stopped in the doorway and saw that she was sitting up. He saw the look of concern etched in her face as he thanked her for letting him stop by. She continued to look at him, and he knew she was wondering if there was more…if he was going to be OK. He thought about home and family…about what he was missing by not being there. It used to give him a measure of peace to come back here at the end of the night, surrounded by familiarity and chaos, allowing himself to be distracted from the stress of the job. But at some point, it hadn't been enough. They hadn't been enough to distract him any longer and he brought too much home with him. It impacted his relationship with Kathy…and with his kids.

He looked and saw that Kathy was still watching him, and she quietly asked him to stay. He could tell from the look on her face that she knew he was hurting, and that she wanted to comfort him. To try to take away his pain by making him feel alive. He thought about losing himself with her…taking all the pain and frustration and channeling into a physical act. But he couldn't do that…not with her. It wouldn't be right. He sighed and shook his head, telling her that he was sorry, but he had to get back to the precinct. He gave her a quick kiss on the cheek and left.

He left his house in Queens and headed back to the precinct. When he arrived, it was quiet in the squad room and he saw Olivia sitting at her desk.

"Hey." He said quietly and she looked up at him and gave him a small smile.

"Hey." She said. "Everything OK?"

Elliot inhaled deeply and shook his head. "No."

Olivia bit her bottom lip, knowing Elliot was hurting. "Did you go see your kids?" she asked.

Elliot nodded, inhaling deeply again. "Yeah."

Olivia nodded and waited to see if he was going to say anything else. She didn't want to push him, and she wished there was something she could do to take the pain away. But he never allowed himself to lean on her…to let her comfort him. She watched his body language and could see the tension in his body, and she knew it was only a matter of time before the pain turned into anger.

He leaned with his arms braced against his desk. "I…" He didn't finish the thought. He stood up and looked at her…and she saw the look of despair in his eyes.

"El."

"I can't talk about this." He turned and headed towards the locker room, leaving her sitting there. He needed to release the energy that was running through his body. He needed to take out his anger and frustration. Beat the shit out of Malcolm Royce by beating the shit out of the bag in the gym. He reached his locker and flung it open, unbuttoning his shirt and dropping it in the bottom of the locker.

"El." He heard Olivia behind him and he turned. She was standing close to him, her hand outstretched as if she was preparing to reach for him. His eyes narrowed. He didn't want to hear platitudes. He didn't want hugs and reassurances.

Before he knew what he was doing, he grabbed her outstretched hand and tugged her towards him. She stumbled slightly and he put both hands on her upper arms. He swung her around and slammed her back against the lockers, and there was no gentleness in it. He saw the look of shock on her face, but he didn't apologize. He stood there and looked at her, as if daring her to say something. She didn't. She was just watching him, looking back and forth between his eyes as he squeezed his fingers into her biceps.

She continued to watch him as he loosened his grip and ran his hands up her arms. He rested his hands on her shoulders briefly, before running them up the sides of her neck, resting them there as he looked at her. He reached up with one hand and pulled the binder out of her hair and her breath hitched, surprised by his action. He threaded his fingers through her hair and pulled her head back against the lockers and then his mouth was on her. Hungry…demanding. He devoured her mouth, opening it with his and driving his tongue inside, swiping it against hers. He felt a shudder run through her body as he continued to kiss her without restraint.

He didn't know what was running through her mind right now. She wasn't participating in the kiss, but she wasn't resisting him either. He wondered how far she would let him take this…he wanted her… he needed her. And his restraint was gone.

He let his hands drop from her hair and he trailed them down her sides until he was gripping her waist. He pushed his body into hers and she grunted as he pushed her hard against the lockers. He slid his hands around to the back of her upper thighs, and then moved them up, cupping her ass. He pulled her lower body into his, pressing his erection between her legs and he pulled his mouth from hers and groaned. He moved his hands back up her body, lifting her sweater up and over her head before she knew what was happening. He dropped his mouth to her neck and started kissing and biting lightly, while his left hand trailed over her collarbone and then down and over her breast. He paused momentarily when he felt the hardness of her nipple beneath his hand and he had the thought that although she wasn't actively participating, she wanted him too.

He wanted her to touch him.

He massaged her breast and ran his thumb over her peaked nipple and she groaned loudly. He felt a shift in her then, and she moved her hands around him, scraping her nails up his back. He tugged at her shirt, trying to unbutton it. He got impatient, and took both hands, ripping it apart and practically tearing it from her body. Olivia gasped as he dropped his mouth between her breasts, reaching up and tugging her bra straps down her arms and freeing her breasts. He took her left breast in his mouth, pushing her up against the lockers again with his left hand and holding her in place. He trailed his right hand down her abdomen until he reached her belt buckle. He tugged at it, but couldn't get it open with one hand. He pulled back from her and knelt down in front of her, his hands on her belt. He looked up at her and took in her swollen lips, her messy hair and the flush of her skin. His eyes moved to hers…and he saw that same look in her eyes. He didn't know if he was asking for permission or if he was just waiting to see if she would stop him. She was still watching him what that look in her eyes…wariness, uncertainty…but he could also see want there. He found himself wondering if she knew that this need wasn't fleeting…that this had been building within him for as long as he could remember.

He swallowed hard…his desire for her was overwhelming and he couldn't think. He didn't want to think. He grasped the button of her pants and unbuttoned it, lowering the zipper and pulling her pants down in one quick motion. He put his hands on her hips, grasping the silk of her underwear. He could feel the heat radiating from her as he moved his mouth against her mound. She groaned again and pushed herself against his mouth. He wondered how wet she was…if he should slide his fingers between her folds…or his tongue. His dick twitched and he wanted her now…this had never been about gentleness. There was no need for foreplay. He was hard, and he knew she was wet. He wanted to fuck her hard…make her scream his name as she came.

He tugged her underwear down her hips, hearing another gasp from her. He reached down and pulled her pants from around her ankles. He stood up quickly, unbuckling his belt and dropped his pants and boxers at the same time. He watched her eyes as she took in the sight of him. She swallowed hard as her eyes trailed up his body. He didn't give her any time to react. He pushed her against the lockers with his body, crashing his mouth against hers again. He ran his hand down her hip, and then moved down between her legs. He ran two fingers between her folds and felt the slickness there. His hand slid over and grasped her upper thigh. He ran his hand to the back of her thigh, pulling her leg up to his hip, opening her up to him. His hardness hit her square between her legs, knocking her clit and she let out a sound. He muffled the sounds she was making with his mouth as he continued to rock against her, and she was writhing beneath him as if trying to escape the sensations running through her. He held her tightly against the locker, refusing to give her any relief from what he was doing to her body. He pulled back slightly, pulling her leg out slightly and bending his knees slightly, knocking her entrance. They both moaned simultaneously.

 _Jesus Christ._

He pushed up, the tip penetrating her slightly. He stopped, wondering if she would stop him now…the reality of this crashing into him. He looked up at her, but her head was back against the lockers and her eyes were closed. As if sensing his hesitancy, she opened her eyes and saw him watching her. She swallowed hard.

"Fuck me." She whispered and Elliot lost any final grasp of control he had left, thrusting hard into her hard against the locker. He moaned at the sensation of her walls clenching around him. She was so fucking tight and he buried his head into her shoulder as she pulsed around him. She gripped his shoulders tightly, digging her fingernails into the skin there. He pulled back and fucked into her hard again and she gasped as he filled her completely. Elliot lifted her thigh and gripped her hip with his other hand as he pounded into her, pulling out almost completely before he thrust back into her. He increased the pace, pistoning his hips into her and he knew the locker had to be biting into her skin, but he couldn't stop. He could hear her moans mixing with his and her walls were clenching around him like a vise.

He kept his face buried in her neck, nipping at the skin there and repeating her name like a mantra. He could feel her body starting to shudder and she raked her fingernails down his back…and the pain only added to the intensity.

"Come on Liv. Come for me." His rasped against her neck and he heard her gasp as her orgasm ripped through her body. She clenched around him…forcing his own release and he continued to drive into her. Her knee buckled and he gripped her hard around her waist with his one free hand, holding her in place as he fucked into her one last time. He dropped her leg and pushed his body against hers, still buried deep inside her. His mouth found hers and he reached up with one hand, cupping her face as he kissed her. She was gasping for breath so he released her mouth, burying his face in her hair as he held his body against hers. He pulled out of her slowly, but moved back against her body again immediately, his hands on her waist. He pressed his cheek against hers. He felt a few tears escape then, and she had to feel them on her skin.

"Liv." He rasped as she continued to pulsate around him.

"Don't" she whispered. She didn't want to hear an apology. She didn't want to hear him offer up some rationale for what had just happened. He had needed release and she had let it happen. The want and need that had built up over the years hadn't been one-sided; and although he had started this tonight, she hadn't denied him.

Elliot ran a hand up her side, sending another shiver through her body. He flattened his palm against her cheek, his eyes searching hers. "Did I hurt you?" he asked quietly. He knew he hadn't been gentle with her, and he felt a small pang of regret at how this had happened between them. He had imagined making love to Olivia, a slow and gentle afternoon in bed, learning her body. This had been anything but.

"I'm fine."

Elliot considered her words, and wondered what this had cost her. He knew he needed to say something…to let her know that they were alright…that they could move forward…when his phone rang. He ignored it, but on the third ring, Olivia spoke, and he knew she was happy for the interruption.

"You'd better get that. Could be important." She said, reminding him that they were still on the case.

He grabbed his pants from the floor and fished his phone out of the pocket. "Stabler." He answered, listening to the person on the other end of the phone. When he hung up, he saw that Olivia had pulled her underwear and her pants back on over her shoes and was tugging her bra back over her breasts. It struck him again how rough he'd been with her. He never even took off her shoes as he pulled her pants down. He'd torn her shirt and pushed her bra down, never even removing it. As she turned to pick her shirt and sweater off the floor, he saw some marks on the skin of her back from the locker. He came up behind her and placed his fingers over one of them gently, and she flinched.

"I'm sorry." He whispered.

She shrugged her fingers from his back, turning to him with her sweater held against her chest. She ignored his comment. "Who was on the phone?"

"O'Halloran. He's at the crime scene. Wants to show me something."

Olivia nodded. "You'd better go."

"Liv."

She moved towards the bathroom, not looking at him as she went. "Go Elliot."

Elliot swallowed, unsure of what to do or say.

She turned and looked back at him. "It's OK Elliot. I'm fine. _We're_ fine." She gave him a smile and he sighed, her words giving him a degree of comfort that they were actually going to be OK. That they'd move forward. He had started something tonight, and he didn't know what direction this would lead, but he could see with just that one smile that it would be OK.

He grabbed his clothes, quickly getting dressed, and left for the crime scene.


End file.
